>not a good week…

Laurie didn’t make it into school on Tuesday – no surprise there really. We handled it faily calmly and then all trotted dutifully along to the psychiatric team for our afternoon appointment. Laurie did his bit with his woman and tim and I carried on with the developmental stuff with ours. She told us there would be a meeting on Thursday (today) to speak with herself, the headmistress and school educational psychologist to arrange a ‘plan’ for Lauries return to the school.

For the last two days we all got up and got the school uniform on and walked to school – to try to get into the swing of things. We didn’t go in the school. Today Tim couldn’t come so Laurie and I set off in the car and as we approached the meeting place he got more and more stressed. By the time I’d parked up he was refusing to go and wouldn’t get out of the car!!!!

After pleading, begging, shouting, and attempting bribery he still wouldn’t be budged. I even got the psychiatrist into the car to try. He said some awful things about me — I know I’m big enough to take it but when your son says he wants you to go to prison (following a comment that I’d get into trouble if he didn’t go back to school) and that he hates you in front of a bloody family psychiatrist it takes some beating. At one point I almost laughed hysterically – although I was fighting back tears for most of it.

One hour later and she had gone back to the meeting and we were still sitting in the car. I eventually persuaded him to come with me so that I could try to find out what plan they had made in out absence. He sat in the waiting room while I spoke to her. I get told a few times how wonderful the headteacher is. I get told that the head teacher doesn’t think he has aspergers syndrome. I get told that the plan is to start tomorrow with a visit into the building. Tomorrow is my last day of compassionate leave. Just what am I supposed to do now? She told me not to make it too nice to be at home and to make him go to noisy places so that he get’s used to it. She told me not to involve him in making any choices. We wont get a diagnosis until they’ve seen Laurie with his peers in school – so how long is that going to take if we can’t even get into the school?

When we got home two boys from Lauries class were playing outside our house. They shouted ‘Laurie’s a girl’ three times while I was there! And we have to send him back there. We still have an option to try another school but it’s a major risk at this stage.

I’m ready to throw in the towel . By that I mean give up my job, move to a smaller place and home educate myself. Lose my pension, my career and my will to fight. Maybe that’s what I need to do for a while – maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow

We don’t know what to do…

I’d like to be on a desert island…

everybody has a palm

By |April 20th, 2006|autism|3 Comments


  1. Kym April 20, 2006 at 11:12 pm - Reply

    >You sure did have a time of it, didn’t you. Poor Laurie….What he was saying about you was his frustration talking and not what he really feels. Remember all the other good conversations you have had and his wonderful insights he shared. I know you take it to heart as we do because we are mommys.
    How does the head teacher know what Laurie has? How is she qualified to decide? What medical school did she attend?
    I don’t know enough about Aspergers but I do know that forcing the child to get used to noise ( if he really has Aspergers) is totally BS. I was in school recently with a young man with Aspergers and he was in Adult school to be away from the hustle and bustle. Can they not see Laurie with his peers at home in the neighborhood park sort of thing? They certainly needed to be there to see his school chums taunting becuz that never would have happened in front of them at school. How horrible for Laurie. My sons were picked on too so I know how your heart breaks. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
    God Bless

  2. Mommy April 21, 2006 at 1:51 am - Reply


    I can’t imagine what you are going through.

    All kids, neurotypical or not, say some form of that. often quite frequently. My daugther’s version is we don’t love her or care about her. I think I’d rather she say she hates me…

  3. Joker The Lurcher April 21, 2006 at 4:45 am - Reply

    >poor you! there is nothing worse than people who think they know what is best for your child. once in a supermarket the checkout assistant said to me “you want to put that child on ritalin”. I just crept away but in retrospect thought i should have demanded to see the manager and also said it was odd that a child psychiatrist was working behind the checkout…

    what we did was to pay for an ed psych report ourselves. it was about £300 but worth every penny. the ed psych spent about 3 hours doing IQ tests and other stuff as well as talking to owen and gave us a really useful report which i was able to use in my correspondence with the lea.

    as for the getting used to noise thing that is just plain bollocks (sorry – a technical term we lawyers use). it is nothing but cruel to expose a hypersensitive child to noise and it is more likely to make them worse.

    as for work – get down the GP and get signed off with stress for a while – you won’t have to make it up!

    if you want to see my file of correspondence and stuff i’m happy to lend it to you.

    and don’t worry abot what laurie said – its the ramblings of a desperate man. owen has said the same sort of things and it cuts you to the quick.

    thinking of you…

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