>not a good week…

Laurie didn’t make it into school on Tuesday – no surprise there really. We handled it faily calmly and then all trotted dutifully along to the psychiatric team for our afternoon appointment. Laurie did his bit with his woman and tim and I carried on with the developmental stuff with ours. She told us there would be a meeting on Thursday (today) to speak with herself, the headmistress and school educational psychologist to arrange a ‘plan’ for Lauries return to the school.

For the last two days we all got up and got the school uniform on and walked to school – to try to get into the swing of things. We didn’t go in the school. Today Tim couldn’t come so Laurie and I set off in the car and as we approached the meeting place he got more and more stressed. By the time I’d parked up he was refusing to go and wouldn’t get out of the car!!!!

After pleading, begging, shouting, and attempting bribery he still wouldn’t be budged. I even got the psychiatrist into the car to try. He said some awful things about me — I know I’m big enough to take it but when your son says he wants you to go to prison (following a comment that I’d get into trouble if he didn’t go back to school) and that he hates you in front of a bloody family psychiatrist it takes some beating. At one point I almost laughed hysterically – although I was fighting back tears for most of it.

One hour later and she had gone back to the meeting and we were still sitting in the car. I eventually persuaded him to come with me so that I could try to find out what plan they had made in out absence. He sat in the waiting room while I spoke to her. I get told a few times how wonderful the headteacher is. I get told that the head teacher doesn’t think he has aspergers syndrome. I get told that the plan is to start tomorrow with a visit into the building. Tomorrow is my last day of compassionate leave. Just what am I supposed to do now? She told me not to make it too nice to be at home and to make him go to noisy places so that he get’s used to it. She told me not to involve him in making any choices. We wont get a diagnosis until they’ve seen Laurie with his peers in school – so how long is that going to take if we can’t even get into the school?

When we got home two boys from Lauries class were playing outside our house. They shouted ‘Laurie’s a girl’ three times while I was there! And we have to send him back there. We still have an option to try another school but it’s a major risk at this stage.

I’m ready to throw in the towel . By that I mean give up my job, move to a smaller place and home educate myself. Lose my pension, my career and my will to fight. Maybe that’s what I need to do for a while – maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow

We don’t know what to do…

I’d like to be on a desert island…

everybody has a palm

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