>A wave of relief went through the house yesterday.
here is the entrance to our house – called main door
taken by Laurie
We had our second visit with the child and family heath team. Tim and I had our own psychiatrist and Laurie had his own; )
Laurie stayed with her for the whole hour – wont tell me anything about it so left wondering… he said he just drew while he talked – said he knew it was rude but he hates looking at people when he talks to them. How many people in the neurotypical world would be able to understand that. I know there are thousands of others that do…
We did the developmental stuff so they ask you about how imaginitive he is, when he walked and talked and stuff. I went all pathetic in front of the professional (it makes Tim laugh to see me and says it’s because I’m a forelock tugging kind of girl; )
At one point I was really aware that my legs were shaking and it wasn’t nerves – it was adrenaline. I was just so ‘wired’ that someone was finally really doing something for us. i wanted to make the best of it. Anyway still haven’t told them the half of it, but I did ask if they felt it was appropriate to do an assessment for ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder). YES YES YES – I’m not just a mother making up excuses for my ‘badly behaved manipulating controling monster son’.
It is really strange to feel so happy that they have started the assessment and clearly think there is a pressing need. You might wonder why we need this…
We have to has his needs recognised. We do not have any negative feelings about an ASD/Aspergers diagnosis. We know that people on the autistic spectrum are wired differently – and have a very different take on the world – a very rich take sometimes that most people don’t take the time to consider. We know that his sensory perceptions can be a major problem but they are also a great blessing. Laurie hears music differently and has been able to recognise pieces of music since he was really small and even identify which films they may have featured in… He can mimic voices and accents perfectly. His memory is so acute that he can recount dialogue after only seeing a movie once. We have never had to practice a spelling list for homework. He does the 99 times table for fun. His sense of humour is strange but wonderful.
Shame no one else seems to appreciate this…
Another fantastic thing that has happened is that the fabulous people in the flickr autistic spectrum group are offering incredible support (as are people who are reading this blog).
Huge thanks to all of you guys – so needed and appreciated.
haven’t got a bunch of flowers photo but do have a beautiful lily from china for all of you…
I have met a really great family through flickr who have been through as much and so much more than us. they have a blog too linked to at the side bar but the dog is the one that blogs regularly – joker the lurcher. Laurie has been looking at their photos and I’ve explained that there are loads of other kids who have very well developed senses. He is most intrigued and would like to meet some.
next job – contact the glasgow autism support group….
such a long post today but guess what – another amazing thing happened. I sent an email last week in my depths of despair after the exclusion to our Member of Scottish Parliament (MSP) Gordon Jackson. I was expecting a standard letter in response but he actually rang me yesterday to offer support when needed. well done that man – you can share the lily.
So some faith in human nature restored…
Some validation of us as parents with concerns…
Some new friendships developing…
We are counting ourselves lucky today.
we are very well aware that we are only at the start of a major quest/journey. ..
>So glad that you are finally getting the support you need.
Laurie sounds like a treasure :o)
>Congratulations on things looking up for you. I still need to get my family in counseling. Lola was in for a while but it didn’t go well.
I’m jealous. right now I’m hoping I’ll one day be able to have my son talk to me. (he’s only 3 though) I’m procrastinating but I really need to learn sign language. he picked up the sign for “more” quick and has his own version. and he seems to understand “all done” though he doesn’t use it.
I am also constantly amazed and the striking similarities (and striking differences) between adhd and autism My daughter has signs of adhd; often I hear/read about autistic kids and am reminded more of her than my son. She is a brilliant child that is getting special ed services for “emotional impairment”. The school had to carefully put together a program for her, as she’s extremely bright. There are many who’d say she doesn’t need services because she is academically advanced (we had that problem in preschool). I worry any time I read an article about too many kids receiving special ed. While concern about labels and funding is valid, I don’t know what I’d do if her school just viewed her as a behavioral problem.
wow. I wrote a book. apologize if I repeated anything on another comment. I forget what I write where.
>mommy
how on earth do you do it? just read about your outing which sounded very brave to attempt. seemed to go well though.
thanks for all your support guys
>fantastic fantastic fantastic news lou!! when i saw you on tuesday i just felt that although you were still going through it, you’d turned a corner in terms of taking charge of the situation. laurie is very lucky to have a lioness mother like you and a great dad like tim.. and i can confirm to your online friends: laurie is a really exceptionally lovely and special child and very fun to hang out with. he deserves the best. i for one would be happy to hang out with him and talk to him without eye contact!
xxx
sarah
p.s. there’s a really disturbing story in today’s Guardian about a family trying to get help for their autistic son, who was also excluded from school. but it made me think- any more trouble, find yourself a sympathetic journalist at the Herald (Glasgow paper for those who don’t live here!). Great your MSP is being so helpful!
>great that you are getting somewhere at last! so funny about the eye contact – my best conversations with my son are sitting side by side in the car. he can’t look you in the eye and speak at the same time and he says it burns to look at someone’s eyes for long.
there is some research now as to why this is – they have developed a type of scan (i think called fmri) which shows brain activity in colour and it has shown that this eye contact thing is to do with something in the brain, so its not shyness or anything!
and thanks for mentioning my blog! and even more for reading it!
>interesting. Tristan will stare into my eyes for so long sometimes… the evaluations don’t credit him for eye contact though. you have to have his attention to get it.
>well I do find the eye contact issue really interesting.
We used to have our best conversations in the car. We have a lot less as we don’t drive much in Glasgow. The wierd thing is that until the moment I read joker the lurchers comment it had not hit me.
I know it doesn’t help the environment but I think it’s worth taking him out in the car a bit more often. In the last week I was off work and we went to pick up tim from work – it was the only time I could get him to talk about those difficult feeling things.
I can’t believe I didn’t get it before. Thanks so much for this insight.
Also he is OK at making eye contact (especially with family and adult friends) but it seems to be talking and eye contact that is the problem.
Sometimes in the car if he is sitting in the back we make eye contact through the mirror and that is very powerful indeed.
Thanks Sarah for your lovely comments. The newspaper idea is good. Hardly dare look at the guardian article but will do.
I was ranting the other night after a few wines about everything and what we could do to change the world (as you do). Tim said he hoped I never get religion; )